Got

"This one will do for now."

I’m mostly settled into the Northampton place now. I’m not traveling with much. I’ve slept in this house dozens of times in the last couple of decades, so it already felt familiar.

We had a dinner party here with old friends last night and I laughed a lot. I capped the night with a glass of bourbon and felt it a little this morning. Still, I was up and writing on the porch pretty early. It’s a good porch for that, with a dusty couch for sitting. I bought a laptop table for $5 in Dorchester before I headed out here, and that’s working pretty well. It even has a little cup holder that clips onto the side.

I just a couple of hours ago bought a clothing rack in Sutherland for $15, and all my hanging clothes are now hanging on it. I have a nicer clothing rack, but it’s either in a storage unit in Braintree or in the attic of the house in the suburbs. This one will do for now.

This place is technically a two-family. Sarah lives on the first floor. I’m on the second floor with her kid, who is the same age as my kid, so not actually a kid. Sarah has tons of snacks and things downstairs. I have always known her house to be full of snacks. I left my yogurt and other perishable whatnot back at Mitra’s, so I was grateful I could grab a yogurt at Sarah’s today. Eventually I’ll buy my own yogurt. I guess I’m not fully settled in yet.

There are cats upstairs, but all I know of them is that I have to keep doors closed to keep them out of places. I am missing Mitra’s cats with their distinctive personalities. Mittens is always so decisive and Jiminy is so panicky.

These cats are technically loaners. Sarah’s kid is looking after them for a cousin in the Peace Corps. No one in the house knows them very well, so I don’t know how attached I should get to them. I have learned that the black one is named Mona and the orange one is Tater Tot. I can work with that.

I had a moment today, driving back from getting the clothes rack, when I became a little panicked about building a life yet again. I thought about my big closet in the house in the suburbs and got sad. When I moved in, my boyfriend put a sign above it that said “All Yours.” It was part of his campaign to make me feel like I was home. Now that closet is not mine at all. It really never was.

The clothes rack is mine. The laptop table is mine.

I got life, mother
I got laughs, sister
I got freedom, brother
I got good times, man

I got my hair
I got my head
I got my brains
I got my ears
I got my eyes
I got my nose
I got my mouth
I got my teeth
I got my tongue
I got my chin
I got my neck
I got my tits
I got my heart
I got my soul
I got my back
I got my ass