I’m going to start this new thing to encourage people to upgrade to a paid subscription. All the writing will still be available to everyone, but I will attach a cat video at the end that will only be viewable to people with a paid subscription.
Intriguing, right?
These will be videos that I have personally filmed. I currently live in a household with cats, so I am able to do this. If I later move into a household with no cats, I will figure out some other gimmick. John Hodgman has been reading Moby Dick aloud as bonus content. Maybe I’ll read something aloud. Something about cats.
I have been allergic to cats most of my life, but it hasn’t been a problem lately. Maybe I grew out of it? I think it might be a hormone thing. My allergies went away when I was pregnant, then came back until recently, as I’ve gone through the Change of Life.
Women who live with cats are happier than women who live with men, according to a video clip I saw on Instagram. There was some study, according to the guy in the clip. It’s possible he sells cat food, or owns a lot of stock in Purina.
It rang true, at any rate. Cats seem to be clearer about what they want. They don’t make a lot of false promises. They don’t need you to impress their families. You never have to listen to them talk about their car. Cats don’t drive cars.
Some cats are needy. I have stayed in homes where it was hard to get any work done because the cat was a nuisance. They also sometimes bite and scratch. A couple of years ago, I cried because a cat bit me. To be fair, though, men have made me cry a lot more often.
I will take cats under consideration.
In the meantime, I will heed the wise words of Miss Mazeppa:
You can sacrifice your saccro
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid, you gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead.
Gimmick to follow.
