I bought a big carton of Cup Noodles at Costco last month and I’ve been eating my way through them rapidly. I add a scoop of bone broth power to make them healthier and more filling. Usually they’re a late night snack. Today I had one for breakfast.

They have a label on the side, just over the cooking instructions:

WARNING: HOT
HANDLE WITH CARE

They are not, of course, hot when you first buy them. The warning only applies after you’ve microwaved them or added boiling water. They are not intrinsically hot.

Presumably, if you’ve heated them up in some way, you already know that they’re hot, so you don’t need the warning. The warning is only there because Nissin’s America lawyers want to insulate them from lawsuits filed by people who burn themselves.

These warning labels came about because of an infamous lawsuit against McDonald's by a woman who was burned by their coffee. This lawsuit is often held up as an example of frivolous lawsuits. At Thanksgiving, my father’s family would bring it up at some point to kick off the annual “people will sue over anything these days” discussion.

It actually wasn’t frivolous at all. The coffee was much hotter than coffee usually is, the woman suffered incredibly severe burns, and she only sued after the medical bills climbed into the thousands and she couldn't afford to pay. It’s all explained really well in an episode of Adam Ruins Everything.

That doesn't make the warning less silly. Realistically, a judge would probably throw out a suit brought by someone who burned themselves with Cup Noodles. It was their own water that was hot, not the noodles. I don’t imagine the label would make much difference.

Or maybe the label is a kindness. Nissin doesn't think we’re idiots, they just know we can get distracted. Life is overwhelming, and the last thing you need is a bunch of noodle burns. That warning could be the thing that slows us down for a minute and lets us focus on the present circumstances.

I will choose to be grateful for their concern.

Northampton is full of trees and flowers and it’s surrounded by farmland. It’s very beautiful and all that, but it also means I woke up at 4 AM last night with snot pouring out of me.

It rained for several hours yesterday, so today all the plants are filled with vitality and looking to get it on. They couldn’t wait until sunrise for the bow-chicka-bow-bow.

I’m all for plants fully expressing their sexuality. I’m no prude. It’s just that snot is annoying and I’d left my Claritin in the car.

I fell back to sleep around 5 and woke up a little after 9. My first sight upon waking were the wads of soggy tissue scattered on the floor beside my bed. The trash can was on the other side of the bedside table. Then I got a text from Sarah: “Are you ready to go in a minute?”

Crap! I’d told Sarah I’d drive her to a doctor’s appointment at 9:30, and I hadn’t bothered to set an alarm because I’m always awake by 7. “Yup,” I replied, and then rushed around dressing, washing my face, brushing my teeth, and blowing my nose every five minutes. I had set up the coffee maker last night, so I pressed the button before starting on my ablutions, and it was ready when I was. I poured a cup and dashed out the door.

I got Sarah to her doctor, late, and then drove to a café. In the parking lot, I frantically tore the car apart looking for the bag with the Claritin in it. I found it, took it, went inside to order. I blew my nose on paper napkins in between macchiato sips and bites of hand pie. Then Sarah was done and we drove home.

Now I’m back on the porch and the Claritin has finally kicked in. My nose is clear and my brain is racing. I feel like I could knock out a script for a Jerry Bruckheimer movie! I’m going to add #winning to all my social media posts! I am the Lizard King and I’m not afraid to tell the world!

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

I’m mostly settled into the Northampton place now. I’m not traveling with much. I’ve slept in this house dozens of times in the last couple of decades, so it already felt familiar.

We had a dinner party here with old friends last night and I laughed a lot. I capped the night with a glass of bourbon and felt it a little this morning. Still, I was up and writing on the porch pretty early. It’s a good porch for that, with a dusty couch for sitting. I bought a laptop table for $5 in Dorchester before I headed out here, and that’s working pretty well. It even has a little cup holder that clips onto the side.

I just a couple of hours ago bought a clothing rack in Sutherland for $15, and all my hanging clothes are now hanging on it. I have a nicer clothing rack, but it’s either in a storage unit in Braintree or in the attic of the house in the suburbs. This one will do for now.

This place is technically a two-family. Sarah lives on the first floor. I’m on the second floor with her kid, who is the same age as my kid, so not actually a kid. Sarah has tons of snacks and things downstairs. I have always known her house to be full of snacks. I left my yogurt and other perishable whatnot back at Mitra’s, so I was grateful I could grab a yogurt at Sarah’s today. Eventually I’ll buy my own yogurt. I guess I’m not fully settled in yet.

There are cats upstairs, but all I know of them is that I have to keep doors closed to keep them out of places. I am missing Mitra’s cats with their distinctive personalities. Mittens is always so decisive and Jiminy is so panicky.

These cats are technically loaners. Sarah’s kid is looking after them for a cousin in the Peace Corps. No one in the house knows them very well, so I don’t know how attached I should get to them. I have learned that the black one is named Mona and the orange one is Tater Tot. I can work with that.

I had a moment today, driving back from getting the clothes rack, when I became a little panicked about building a life yet again. I thought about my big closet in the house in the suburbs and got sad. When I moved in, my boyfriend put a sign above it that said “All Yours.” It was part of his campaign to make me feel like I was home. Now that closet is not mine at all. It really never was.

The clothes rack is mine. The laptop table is mine.

I got life, mother
I got laughs, sister
I got freedom, brother
I got good times, man

I got my hair
I got my head
I got my brains
I got my ears
I got my eyes
I got my nose
I got my mouth
I got my teeth
I got my tongue
I got my chin
I got my neck
I got my tits
I got my heart
I got my soul
I got my back
I got my ass

I got my crown glued back on. I pulled it out of my wallet, handed it over, and in it went. The TV was still set to Little House on the Prairie. Maybe it’s a whole station? The tech and I chatted about the Ingalls and our kids. Biting down on the gauze while the glue set was the only effort I made. It was the easiest part of my day.

My morning was spent packing and loading my car. I met my Apple Watch exercise goal just going up and down Mitra’s front steps.

I brought some of the stuff to my storage space in Cambridge. This was mostly because I didn’t have space for all of it in my car. I’ll be back for my permanent crowns in two weeks. I can pick the stuff up then.

I meant to get over there when the storage unit opened, but I was delayed and ended up there an hour later. It turned out to be perfect timing. When I pulled up, I saw two guys in RARE Movers jackets. What are the odds??? It was my guys, the ones who helped get me through my big move in January. I parked and ran over to talk with them.

I hugged them, of course, and the woman they were working with came over and pretended to be upset that I was hugging her movers. I quipped that this was part of the RARE mover experience, that you were expected to hug them and tell them you love them at the end of the move. The guys chuckled knowingly. We all explained to the woman how difficult that last move had been. She was aghast and expressed her sympathy.

The guys and I chatted a bit. We debriefed a bit. They had some follow-up questions from January. Then we hugged and we all got back to work.

Mitra had missed my final exit from the house, so she drove over to have coffee with me before I saw the dentist and then hit the road.

We’re sad. We’re going to miss each other. I told her maybe the girl who’ll be staying with her for the summer will walk over to look at the chickens with her. Mitra said, “No, the chickens are just for you.”

It’s astounding to me that I have friends that love me so much that they want me to live in their house. That they reserve chickens for me! It’s not that I think I’m awful and undeserving, really, it’s just that I feel so honored.

Yesterday, Mitra and I were talking about people who get a tingly feeling in nature and feel connected to everything. Neither of us has experienced that. We feel connected to everything when we’re with people, like at protests or a fireworks display. I felt that way at the baby shower yesterday. It moves me when people pull together to do beautiful things.

I’m just outside Northampton now, grabbing a quick snack before I head to Sarah’s Tomorrow we’re having a big dinner party with a bunch of people we love. I feel very lucky.

I stopped to see Mom on my way here. I know that she’s been there at the nursing home the whole time since I’ve seen her, but in her mind she’s been traveling to see friends. She was telling me about visiting their shops, having lunch with them, seeing plays. Apple, tree.

Welp, I’ve already detached one of the temporary crowns. Temporary indeed! I was chewing gum and got distracted. I guess I got too passionate with my chewing because suddenly there was a solid, spiky thing rumbling around in my mouth.

It’s in my wallet now. I’m hoping it can be reattached tomorrow on my way out to Northampton. If not, I’ll try leaving it under my pillow and see what happens.

The only real issue with it coming out is that it hurts a little when I eat and drink. I had to be tough about it, though, because I spent the day with pregnant veterans. You really can’t complain about anything to a pregnant veteran. One of the pregnant women was active duty Air Force, in full maternity fatigues. I’m not complaining about my tooth to her.

This was at a baby shower put together by the VA. I was there as a volunteer from the DAR. I started the day as a greeter outside directing everyone to the proper entrance. I was sure to mention that there was a bathroom just inside the entrance. I know what pregnant women need.

There was music and lunch and we gave out a bunch of stuff. Lots of diapers, of course. Tiny bathtubs, activity mats, support pillows. The usual, important stuff.

It was funny being there from the DAR. Our illustrious Revolutionary ancestors wouldn't have expected women to be official soldiers at all. Though there were women who fought in disguise, like Deborah Sampson, and lots of women traveled with the soldiers. They kept them fed, sewed their uniforms, tended to their wounds. Those are now official military jobs — or were until a lot of it got outsourced — so our ancestors wouldn't be too surprised to see women filling posts like that. Women in combat would be a stretch for them, but Deborah Sampson did earn an honorary discharge.

The DAR is deeply committed to telling women’s stories and we do a lot of work with veterans, so helping with this baby shower was an obvious thing to be part of. I went because I like making sure pregnant women are okay. This country is pretty bad at supporting pregnant women, especially these days, so I’m all for anything that helps.

After we cleaned up, there were a bunch of white chocolate lollypops left over. Most folks don’t like white chocolate. I love it. My grandmother also loved it, and she’s the one who first told me about the DAR, so it’s fitting that this would be my DAR swag. I’ll eat them tonight in her honor. On the left side of my mouth.

I just got two crowns put in. Temporary crowns. I get the permanent crowns in two weeks. I was only meant to get one crown today, but I was overdue two years on that one. In the meantime, another tooth had turned tragic. I could have scheduled a separate appointment for the second crown, but I’m all for getting things over with.

There’s a big tv in the dentisting room, visible from the patient chair. It was tuned to Dance Moms. There was no way I was going to watch Dance Moms while getting my teeth drilled. I’d start confessing to crimes I didn't commit, just to make it stop.

I’m friendly with the dental assistants, so I felt comfortable asking for the remote. I flipped through what was playing live and came across a channel showing a Little House on the Prairie binge. Perfect.

The episode I watched for most of it involved Eileen Heckart and Ray Bolger falling in love. I got excited about Ray Bolger and said to the dentist and his assistant, who didn’t have their fingers in my mouth at the moment, “look, it’s the guy who played the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.” To their credit, they were too focused on their work to look. That’s what you want in a dental practice.

I couldn’t hear the episode, but I could see from watching that Ray Bolger was a drunk hobo who dried out at the Ingalls house. Eileen Heckart was an uptight widow or spinster who realized eventually that she was talking to her cat too much and accepted Ray Bolger’s love.

My dentist was determined to get the best possible impression of my teeth, so I had four go-rounds with that weird pink gloop that you bite down into. It was good to have the Prairie distraction.

The whole right side of my mouth is still numb, but I can tell it’s going to hurt later. I’ll be taking some ibuprofen when I get back to Mitra’s. Then maybe I’ll try to find that episode to watch with sound on. I need to know what Eileen Heckart was saying to her cat.

It’s my wedding anniversary. My 22nd. The copper anniversary. I just looked that up. I was actually wearing earrings with copper disks today. Who knew!

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Sometimes they blow our minds.

If you grew up wit…

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